2nd Commenter: "Omg you are so lame no one cares if you are first congrats on your non-prize winning first comment."
Joe Blow: "Second!"
Real First Commenter: "I totally agree with this article!
@Anon and Joe Blow, stop spamming or GTFO! Those aren't comments."
Comment 2: Wow theres always someone that writes the first comment like that.